Hilarious CL ads

[Mr A]

Heres a good one. (broken link removed to http://nh.craigslist.org/for/3309937581.html)

HI. I AM LOOKING FOR ANYBODY THAT HAS FREE FIRE WOOD. IT NEEDS TO BE CUT, SPLIT, AND SEOSONED. IT MUST BE HARDWOOD AND 2 CORDS MINIMUM. I WILL PICK UP FOR A FEE BUT WOULD RATHER IT BE DELIVERD.

• Location: NASHUA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

LOL, you made that up yourself, didn't you?

 

[firefighterjake]

Heres a good one. (broken link removed to http://nh.craigslist.org/for/3309937581.html)

HI. I AM LOOKING FOR ANYBODY THAT HAS FREE FIRE WOOD. IT NEEDS TO BE CUT, SPLIT, AND SEOSONED . . . EVEN BETTER WOULD BE IF YOU COULD TAKE THE TIME TO KILN DRY IT FOR ME. IT MUST BE HARDWOOD (PREFERABLY BLACK LOCUST AND OAK) AND 2 CORDS MINIMUM (BUT I WILL ACCEPT ANY OFFERS OVER 2 CORD). I WILL PICK UP FOR A FEE BUT WOULD RATHER IT BE DELIVERD. IN LIEU OF MONEY YOU CAN ALSO PAY ME OFF IN DORITOES (NOTE, I SAID DORITOES, NOT A STORE BRAND), HO-HOS AND TWINKIES (BUT NOT THE LITTLE DEBBIE BRAND TYPE SINCE THEY DON'T TASTE THE SAME), BUT THE BAG MUST BE OPENED AND THE CONTENTS PUT ON A PLATE IN INDIVIDUAL PORTIONS. ALSO, THE COUCH IS NOT FOR SALE . . . I REPEAT THE COUCH IS NOT FOR SALE.

• Location: NASHUA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I fixed the ad for them.

 

[ColdNH]

I fixed the ad for them.

Laughing my as.s off!

 

[clemsonfor]

Heres a good one. (broken link removed to http://nh.craigslist.org/for/3309937581.html)

HI. I AM LOOKING FOR ANYBODY THAT HAS FREE FIRE WOOD. IT NEEDS TO BE CUT, SPLIT, AND SEOSONED. IT MUST BE HARDWOOD AND 2 CORDS MINIMUM. I WILL PICK UP FOR A FEE BUT WOULD RATHER IT BE DELIVERD.

• Location: NASHUA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

WHAT you have to be kidding me. The guy wants cut split and seasoned firewood, minimum of 2 cords and wants it delivered, FOR FREE! Or he will charge YOU for your FREE wood if he has to pick it up!! come on this has to be people that get a laugh out of this stuff?

 

[Danno77]

But is the couch for sale or not?

 

[mfglickman]

Heres a good one. (broken link removed to http://nh.craigslist.org/for/3309937581.html)

HI. I AM LOOKING FOR ANYBODY THAT HAS FREE FIRE WOOD. IT NEEDS TO BE CUT, SPLIT, AND SEOSONED. IT MUST BE HARDWOOD AND 2 CORDS MINIMUM. I WILL PICK UP FOR A FEE BUT WOULD RATHER IT BE DELIVERD.

• Location: NASHUA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I flagged this for Best of CraigsList.

 

[Wood Duck]

Duh. I totally missed that. Seen this posting for months, too.

Yeah, that is bogus math. A cord is 4x4x8, so a half cord is 2x2x4, right? While I am posting here I might as well mention that I can sell you guys a half cord at a good price.

 

[firefighterjake]

But is the couch for sale or not?

NO. THE COUCH IS NOT FOR SALE. PLEASE STACK THE WOOD AROUND THE COUCH AND THE 52 INCH PLASMA TV WHICH IS ALSO NOT FOR SALE. ALSO, I AM ONLY AVAILABLE TO PICK UP THE WOOD FOR A FEE AFTER 1 P.M. BUT BEFORE 5 P.M. AS I WILL BE IN BED SLEEPING BEFORE THAT AND THEN I'M GOING OUT TO THE BARS AFTER 5 TO HANG OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND SEVEN KIDS.

 

[basod]

Heres a good one. (broken link removed to http://nh.craigslist.org/for/3309937581.html)

HI. I AM LOOKING FOR ANYBODY THAT HAS FREE FIRE WOOD. IT NEEDS TO BE CUT, SPLIT, AND SEOSONED. IT MUST BE HARDWOOD AND 2 CORDS MINIMUM. I WILL PICK UP FOR A FEE BUT WOULD RATHER IT BE DELIVERD.

• Location: NASHUA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

There is one like this every winter in our local buy/sell bulletin(sort of Uncle henry's). Reads same every year.

Need firewood we are disabled. Must be cut and delivered free.. we can split it.

Nothing against living on disability but if you're able to split wood I'm assuming you can earn a paycheck

I'll have to find a copy and scan the clipping.

 

[Danno77]

i work with a bunch of disabled people. Their disability would lead them to believe they can get something for nothing, too.

 

[Wood Duck]

I just realized I am disabled. My pesky job is disabling me from cutting firewood today. Please help.

 

[Realstone]

I should run an ad like that just to see what comes through the door. It never hurts to ask. Even if others label me as...

 

[Thistle]

(broken link removed to http://desmoines.craigslist.org/zip/3312364381.html)

Here's a good one. As green as that pile of brush is,you'll have to supply your own diesel fuel to get it burnin' though....

 

[Thistle]

(broken link removed to http://desmoines.craigslist.org/zip/3313563548.html)

Now this is maybe 5 miles NW of me & Mulberry is always welcome in my wood stacks,but I'm no trash hauling service either..... They state they 'would like it removed & cleaned up soon before it kills the grass....well with an ad worded like that you're in for a long wait

 

[fespo]

This wood looks real dry

(broken link removed to http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/for/3303050599.html)

 

[Realstone]

(broken link removed to http://desmoines.craigslist.org/zip/3312364381.html)

Here's a good one. As green as that pile of brush is,you'll have to supply your own diesel fuel to get it burnin' though....

Oh brother.

Instant hedge?