As Andy said, it is a lot of things. And make sure you check out the thread he has referenced in his post.
Addressing the question of a quick hot fire--there is no reason you should not be able to get a very hot fire after your break in fires. Remember, with soapstoe everything is on a 30-60 minute delay. You may have a roaring fire, but it won't be reflected in stove top temps for a while. By the way, I don't think anything is wrong with your stove. There may be draft issues, especially if your weather is still a bit warm down there. But, it is unlikely there is a structural problem with your stove. It's a pretty simple engine.
So, all that being said . . . here are a few simple things I have learned and may help:
1. Leave your coals in the firebox. Starting a fire in a clean stove is (of course) possible, but not as easy.
2. Use a lot of good dry kindling and dry, barkless, 1/8 splits to start your fire.
3. Build your fire with lots of gaps, either in a criss-cross fashion or a pyramid.
4. Add 1/4 splits when it gets going and when you reach critical mass--PILE ON!
5. All the while keep the air wide open (and keep the door cracked just a little for the first 10-15 minutes or so)
Wide open air makes a hot fire and cleans your flue by burning off creosote. Keeping the air open is a good thing for the first two hours of your fire.
6. You should hit 400 on top in an hour or so.
All the best and good luck!