First year or two I routinely would over-heat the house (including myself, my wife and all of our critters) . . . now it is rare for me to do so.
For me it pretty much starts and ends with the fuel . . . specifically the fuel load. This time of year I use up all of those punks (punky, but dried wood), chunks (those ends you cut off from wood that was just a few inches too long) and uglies (the wood that is curved, did not split nice and neat, Y-pieces, etc.) I also tend to use more softwood this time of year -- softwood in terms of pine, cedar, hemlock, etc. and "soft" wood like poplar, basswood, etc. It is rare for me to load the firebox to the gills . . . and most importantly . . . no matter how cool it is outside and how pretty the fire looks . . . I try to resist the temptation to reload the stove -- instead bring the stove up to temp, let that metal get nice and hot and then let the metal radiate the heat for several hours while the sun does it's thing outside and brings up the temps.
I actually enjoy burning in the shoulder season as there is less wood usage and I use up the "junk" wood. The flip side is I do a lot more cold starts and use up more kindling.