Humorous "Cost of Burning Wood"

[stovemanken]

Does anyone remember a poster from the '70s that had a title like "The real cost of burning wood" and it had entries like:

Chain Saw $300
Log Splitter $500
New Pickup Truck $25,000
New rear window for Pickup truck $150
(and more)

I always chuckle when I think of that. How many of us have hit the brakes, had the wood shift forward and crack the rear cab window?

Anyone remember the rest of the poster?

StovemanKen

 

[DavidV]

Had it happen this summer with my 2004 dodge ram with a wheel barrel. Got cute and tried to save time by not fastening it down. could have killed someone.

 

[BrotherBart]

Had it happen this summer with my 2004 dodge ram with a wheel barrel. Got cute and tried to save time by not fastening it down. could have killed someone.

That is why they call those shields behind the cab of pipe and log trucks "headache racks".

 

[bruce]

you never know,, i tore off a side mirror backing up close to a stack of oak !
i left a little more room the next time!

 

[elkimmeg]

last Dec. very cold mind you I was fininshing up a job. Just about done. I had coiled the compressor hose and tossed
into the back of the truck. For some reason the metal end swung is a way it binked my rear window. Man was that a cold trip home.
Since then I came up with a ladder rack and wirer mesh type protection. I can see where Loading a truck with logs and having one shift, would be dangerous.
Speaking about stupid acidents. Long time back we are clearing a house lot. The guy with me just bought a new Homelite XLT pro saw (The days when Homlite made good saws). At the time we could burn the brush, and we had a John Dere 450 track shovel dozer to help out with the proceedings. The brush fire is starting to get away so the guy ( bill) jumps on the dozer to scrape the leaves away and push up dirt as a backstop to stop the fire spreading. He was sucessful, but when we continued to cut more trees, he could not find his saw. He then remembers he had placed it on the dozer tracks

 

[bruce56bb]

chainsaw $300
gas $10
3 eye surgerys $4000
safety glasses priceless

 

[wg_bent]

I remember as a kid I was watching a few of the neighborhood guys cutting wood while I was out riding my dirt bike. They had been cutting wood and drinking beer (Woah...there's a smart combo, eh?) They were loosing daylight and decided to pick up a large log and backup the Dodge Ramcharger (early Dodge SUV) underneath the log. The log went in to about 1' of the dashboard. The driver yelled "a bit further"...The rear wheels were on a bump in the ground, and as he backed up "a bit further", the truck went over the bump, driving the log through the radio and heater controls of the truck.

I had to get on my dirt bike quick and leave cause I was laughing so hard. They were not happy

One lesson... Beer and cutting wood do not mix well!

 

[Eric Johnson]

I worked with a guy once who skidded firewood logs out of the woods with a Chrysler Matador. We were fairly sober, as I recall. "The Killer" was an ugly beast, but it could pull some wood.

I don't think the humorous side of wood burning would be complete without the guy burning down his house in a chimney fire and running up a pretty good emergency room bill from a chain saw accident. But in the end "I didn't burn a drop of oil all winter," he said with satisfaction.

 

[Jimbob]

I found this one kinda funny, I cut and pasted it from woodheat.org:

It is safer for Larry to turn up the thermostat


My name is Larry, and I live in Bergen County NJ, probably one of the richest county's in the country. In 1979 when Carter put on the front page of the Daily News "there might not be any heating oil on the east coast this winter", then I said to my wife I no longer trust the GOV. or the oil companies or the countries behind them. That was when I made the mistake of installing my first wood stove. This stove next to my boiler in the basement exhausted to a common chimney (allowed in those days) needless to say ruined the chimney.

We then had a new chimney installed on the outside of the house, and at the same time had an addition put on the living room to hold stove #2 (I also put one in my garage).

Well to make a long story short from 1980 to 1990 I went through a trailer, three pickup trucks, three chain saws, a bad cut on one knee, my two kids today hate me for raising them on firewood, and guess what? my wife and I did not save a dime.

If I had to do it all over again I would definitely let some one else save the country and I would turn up my thermostat.

Thank You,
Larry

 

[savageactor7]

What always amazed me were those that were better off than us than buy wood to save a few pennies on heat...not that I'm in any way disparaging those that buy wood.

Personally I love wood heat and have all the tools and toys to make it easier...but still it's a hassle...that, yeah, I kind of enjoy it. If it weren't for the 30 acres behind my house I'd be burning coal...it is way so much easier, hotter and more even heat and cleaner than wood.

Just say'en.... we live in a large 5BR pre-civil war era house that would cost us about 3k in LP gas to keep as warm as wood does. We use to have fuel oil as a back up but that went through the roof a few years back.

 

[log-on]

I wished I had the picture, But a few years ago I Cold Cocked my Ford Ranger with a Birch Tree. Luckily it didn't break the windshield but it left a huge dent in the roof. My wife now lets me buy firewood from some other poor fool. Anybody want to buy a Chainsaw?

 

[burntime]

As a kid I remember my dad taking out the rear window of a 1970 3/4 ton pickup. The back window also bit it on his 1978 ford f-150 explorer. I loaded the 1986 f150 so heavy that a shock blew the mount off of his truck. It takes a while to learn that say an f-150 will not hold 6 ton...and it doesn't matter how far forward you load it ;~)

 

[SlyFerret]

I'd even be wary putting 6 tons in my dad's 3500HD diesel dualie dump truck. We've done it, but it was only for a short trip (3 miles from the quarry).

I can't imagine putting that much in a 1500 or F150.

-SF

 

[BrotherBart]

Burning wood isn't expensive. Looking at hearth.com is expensive. I had heated with wood for over twenty years and thought I was happy. I came across hearth.com and since then I have bought three new wood stoves, a pellet stove, two chimney liners (actually three I tossed one after a year), chaps, helmet, mega-bucks boots, two more chain saws and God only knows what else.

This place will break ya! The first twenty years I only bought a stove, saw and splitter.

 

[adrpga498]

People need to start loading trucks East _West

 

[FatttFire]

99' F-150 been a greta truck hauled many many loads out of the creek! Tired just got down working 16 straight, was down cutting up some big standing locust! Bend grab pick up toss/ bend grab pick up toss ....................... you know the deal! A log bounced in the empty bed and BANG hh: Smahed paaenger side of back window! Of course the window is one piece, so after calling the glass guy and $300.00 later I had a new back window! The glass guy just chuckled and said " Happens all the time!"
That day ....................................... same routine .................. bend grab pick up toss :shut: BANG :ahhh: Brand new rear window on drivers side ........................ smashed! Called the glass guy ...................................... he laughed and laughed, he said " happens all the time, but never in 24 hours ......................... lol .................... :red: So $600.00 in 24 hours for the same damn window, I am now more carefull when loading wood in an empty bed, or in a bed at all! :exclaim:

 

[Ken45]

99' F-150 been a greta truck hauled many many loads out of the creek! Tired just got down working 16 straight, was down cutting up some big standing locust! Bend grab pick up toss/ bend grab pick up toss ....................... you know the deal! A log bounced in the empty bed and BANG hh: Smahed paaenger side of back window! Of course the window is one piece, so after calling the glass guy and $300.00 later I had a new back window! The glass guy just chuckled and said " Happens all the time!"
That day ....................................... same routine .................. bend grab pick up toss :shut: BANG :ahhh: Brand new rear window on drivers side ........................ smashed! Called the glass guy ...................................... he laughed and laughed, he said " happens all the time, but never in 24 hours ......................... lol .................... :red: So $600.00 in 24 hours for the same damn window, I am now more carefull when loading wood in an empty bed, or in a bed at all! :exclaim:

Proves the point that it's dangerous to use a chain saw when you are tired!

So how much money did you save with your firewood that year? <g,d&r;>

Ken

 

[BrotherBart]

So how much money did you save with your firewood that year? <g,d&r;>

Ken

In the early 90's when I chainsawed my leg I was finishing up the third cord for that year. Wood was $100 a cord then. When I got the emergency room bill it was $300.25.

 

[FatttFire]

99' F-150 been a greta truck hauled many many loads out of the creek! Tired just got down working 16 straight, was down cutting up some big standing locust! Bend grab pick up toss/ bend grab pick up toss ....................... you know the deal! A log bounced in the empty bed and BANG hh: Smahed paaenger side of back window! Of course the window is one piece, so after calling the glass guy and $300.00 later I had a new back window! The glass guy just chuckled and said " Happens all the time!"
That day ....................................... same routine .................. bend grab pick up toss :shut: BANG :ahhh: Brand new rear window on drivers side ........................ smashed! Called the glass guy ...................................... he laughed and laughed, he said " happens all the time, but never in 24 hours ......................... lol .................... :red: So $600.00 in 24 hours for the same damn window, I am now more carefull when loading wood in an empty bed, or in a bed at all! :exclaim:

Proves the point that it's dangerous to use a chain saw when you are tired!

So how much money did you save with your firewood that year? <g,d&r;>

Ken

well a tank of propane then was $1095.00 and after some insulation upgrade in the attic and a tankless hot water tank ( one of the best things I have ever bought ) and I burn wood in my old Fisher it heats my 2500 sqft house just fine! So in the last 18 months I have filled up my tank once with 55 gallons @ 3.09 a gallon! I used to use 4 full tanks a year for propane! Not anymore! Now I just got hit with a rental fee from the propane company! Bastards! So even though I had to buy $600.00 worth of windows for my truck, I estimate the wood has saved me just in the last year ....................... $3500.00! With that saved money I just bought a splitter for $1300.00 SO all in all it is definitly worth it! I have learned though that it is better if I just take my time, and split wood at a nice even steady pace, and take my time! I used to run around like a lunitic and try to split a cord of wood by hand everyday after work! Now I just take my time, and be safe, my girlfriend is off my back more, and speaking of my back............................ it has never felt better latley!

OH! Another thing! If anybody has the patience of sharpening their own chair! I bought a bench top grinder from Oregon! The setup is a pain, but if you have the patience to set it up, it is totaly worth the money! I haven't bought a new chain in 3 years since I bought it! Totaly worth the money!

 

[tradergordo]

OH! Another thing! If anybody has the patience of sharpening their own chair! I bought a bench top grinder from Oregon! The setup is a pain, but if you have the patience to set it up, it is totaly worth the money! I haven't bought a new chain in 3 years since I bought it! Totaly worth the money!

I use the harbor freight electric chainsaw sharpener (grinder) which was only about $30 on a good day. Mounted it to my workbench. Works great.

 

[BurningIsLove]

$5 for a 2 pack of dremmel grinders for chainsaws...portable & easy. The two will last a season

 

[Drumaz]

I'm guilty of throwing a limb through the back window of a pick-up truck. It was cold ride back to the yard sitting on trash can lids because we couldn't get all the glass out of the cab Boss man was ticked....

 

[BJ64]

I think another item in the funny gag that started this thread involved chopping up a coffee table and burning it in the stove because they was too drunk to go out and get any wood..

 

[Backwoods Savage]

Thinking of installing a wood stove?

Accounting of our first year heating with wood:

Stove pipe installation, etc.: 1,500.00
Chain saw: 459.99
Gas & maintenance of chain saw: 46.95
Four wheel drive pickup: 36,999.99
Maintenance on pickup: 200.00
Replace rear window on pickup: 150.00
Replace rear window on pickup: 150.00
Log splitter: 1,495.99
Fine for cutting unmarked trees on State land: 1,500.00
Fourteen cases of Michelob: 363.72
Fine for littering: 350.00
Tow charges for retrieving pickup from creek: 400.00
Emergency room fee from removing splinter from eye: 300.00
Safety glasses: 9.99
Replace living room carpet: 1,395.00
Repaint walls and ceiling: 40.00
Fifteen acre woodlot: 37,500.00
Taxes on woodlot: 950.00
Replace coffee table (chopped up when drunk): 225.00
Divorce settlement: 65,500.00

Total first year cost: $149,536.63
Savings in conventional fuel: -1250.00

Net cost of first year’s wood burning: $148,286.63

(But I’m a free man and enjoy the heat from my new wood stove!)


EDIT: Sorry, I tried to like up the figures, but they still came out screwy.

 

[BurningIsLove]

Too funny....I do like the double entry of replacing the window in the pickup and all the other 'accidental fees'

But to jump into reality for a moment, I'll bet with today's costs and a little bit of common sense, you could cut that first year investment more than in half. For example, who buys a brand new, top of the line pickup to haul wood? And even if you did, with the industry/gas prices being what they are, you could probably get a brand new F250 with all the trimmings for $20K.