15 minute conversation about what I want and what he can get. Finally nail it down. One cord of locust and cherry mixed. Cut to 18" and split big. $140? Deal. If it's what you say, I'll buy at least five more. Monday delivery? Sure, I'll be there. Wait all day, no wood, no phone call. Getting ready to leave and the bell rings. Guys with the wood.
"Look, I got a real deal for you. I got a load of seasoned wood I'm gonna let you have for the green price. It's not locust, but it's been sitting for a long time. You can have it for the green price if you want it."
I look at the partly filled truck. "That's supposed to be a cord?"
Scratches his head. "Well, yeah... it's more than a cord in fact."
"No it ain't. Not even close. And it's junk wood."
Mock horror.
"What do you mean 'junk'? It's all maple and oak that's been sitting for a couple years now."
"Yeah, in a big pile of logs I'll bet."
"But it's dry, just feel it."
"Right... dry and all punky on the outside. And that looks like some willow in there. And that's some box elder. The rest is soft maple, except that piece of ash right there. And I don't see a stick of oak in there"
"Well, there was one log about 6' long of something we didn't know what is was. That's it. Isn't that oak?"
"No, that's the ash I mentioned."
Long awkward silence.
"Well, it don't matter anyway, it ain't a cord."
"This truck will hold two cord full."
"No it won't. Maybe stacked, but it's just thrown. And it's not even half full."
"OK... We'll stack it for you and show you."
"No you won't."
"Look, I got a real deal for you. I got a load of seasoned wood I'm gonna let you have for the green price. It's not locust, but it's been sitting for a long time. You can have it for the green price if you want it."
I look at the partly filled truck. "That's supposed to be a cord?"
Scratches his head. "Well, yeah... it's more than a cord in fact."
"No it ain't. Not even close. And it's junk wood."
Mock horror.
"What do you mean 'junk'? It's all maple and oak that's been sitting for a couple years now."
"Yeah, in a big pile of logs I'll bet."
"But it's dry, just feel it."
"Right... dry and all punky on the outside. And that looks like some willow in there. And that's some box elder. The rest is soft maple, except that piece of ash right there. And I don't see a stick of oak in there"
"Well, there was one log about 6' long of something we didn't know what is was. That's it. Isn't that oak?"
"No, that's the ash I mentioned."
Long awkward silence.
"Well, it don't matter anyway, it ain't a cord."
"This truck will hold two cord full."
"No it won't. Maybe stacked, but it's just thrown. And it's not even half full."
"OK... We'll stack it for you and show you."
"No you won't."