(broken link removed to http://fredericksburg.craigslist.org/for/1453208214.html) And I quote from the ad here:
I guess it is up to me this year to clear up the "what is firewood" mystery. I will first tell you what firewood, or fire wood, is NOT. If you have a log that is ten feet long and twenty four inches in diameter, that is NOT firewood. No sir, you have got yourself a big damn log there. Now, if you were to cut that 1,000 lb log into lengths of say sixteen to twenty inches, and then split those pices into maybe eight or ten equal smaller pieces, then my friend you have firewood. Maybe. If that log was nineteen years old and laying on the ground all this time, and got all nasty wet and chit full of bugs, then you got a nasty, buggy pile of refuse. NOT firewood. Also, if that log is pine, or some other sappy wood, you still got no firewood. But, on the upside, you will now stick to everything you touch for a little while. That seems easy enough. Now, if you have some dang nice red oak in some nice twenty or thirty foot lengths, you got the MAKINGS for some top notch firewood. BUT, if those lengths are VERTICAL and you run the risk of that "firewood" landing on your house, you still ain't got no firewood! You do however have the makings of an inevitable and certainly nasty and unprofitable lawsuit/insurance claim. If that "firewood" falls on your neighbors house, you are truly f#cked! Also, if that free firewood is in a great big pile of root balls and dirt and sand and monkey chit, you, as you have surely guessed, STILL have no firewood.
You are looking to have your yard cleaned up in exchange for some old, piled up debris that has been there since they cleared the land for your house. Why not just say that? In your ad just say, "free wood if you will just clean up my nasty yard. The neighbors are getting pissed". Simply put, firewood is wood that is READY, or damn near ready to be put into a fireplace or woodstove. If it is free, then folks expect to have to cut it up some (PLEASE NOTICE THAT I DID NOT SAY CUT IT DOWN) and more often than not, expect to split it. They do not expect to have to miss your house with it on the way down
Look, while the sentiment is awful sweet, and awful nice, you don't save anyone a dime if they go through ten saw chains procuring their "free wood". Just say it like it is. Most folks would rather read a well worded, and well thought out, free yard clean up scam ad, than to have to click on the next ad after feeling like an ass for even hoping for the GENUINE kindness that is really out there. Lots of love, Jim
I guess it is up to me this year to clear up the "what is firewood" mystery. I will first tell you what firewood, or fire wood, is NOT. If you have a log that is ten feet long and twenty four inches in diameter, that is NOT firewood. No sir, you have got yourself a big damn log there. Now, if you were to cut that 1,000 lb log into lengths of say sixteen to twenty inches, and then split those pices into maybe eight or ten equal smaller pieces, then my friend you have firewood. Maybe. If that log was nineteen years old and laying on the ground all this time, and got all nasty wet and chit full of bugs, then you got a nasty, buggy pile of refuse. NOT firewood. Also, if that log is pine, or some other sappy wood, you still got no firewood. But, on the upside, you will now stick to everything you touch for a little while. That seems easy enough. Now, if you have some dang nice red oak in some nice twenty or thirty foot lengths, you got the MAKINGS for some top notch firewood. BUT, if those lengths are VERTICAL and you run the risk of that "firewood" landing on your house, you still ain't got no firewood! You do however have the makings of an inevitable and certainly nasty and unprofitable lawsuit/insurance claim. If that "firewood" falls on your neighbors house, you are truly f#cked! Also, if that free firewood is in a great big pile of root balls and dirt and sand and monkey chit, you, as you have surely guessed, STILL have no firewood.
You are looking to have your yard cleaned up in exchange for some old, piled up debris that has been there since they cleared the land for your house. Why not just say that? In your ad just say, "free wood if you will just clean up my nasty yard. The neighbors are getting pissed". Simply put, firewood is wood that is READY, or damn near ready to be put into a fireplace or woodstove. If it is free, then folks expect to have to cut it up some (PLEASE NOTICE THAT I DID NOT SAY CUT IT DOWN) and more often than not, expect to split it. They do not expect to have to miss your house with it on the way down
Look, while the sentiment is awful sweet, and awful nice, you don't save anyone a dime if they go through ten saw chains procuring their "free wood". Just say it like it is. Most folks would rather read a well worded, and well thought out, free yard clean up scam ad, than to have to click on the next ad after feeling like an ass for even hoping for the GENUINE kindness that is really out there. Lots of love, Jim
