You are doing great! I was standing in line at the auto parts store the other day, and heard an old man behind me cough. It was one of those deep, juicy, trying-to-stir-things-up-enough-to-absorb-a-little-oxygen-here coughs--a cough that didn't ask for much--kind of a hopeless cough, if you get what I mean. And I was so glad that this will never have to be you.
Ever seen a picture of a smoker's lungs compared with those of a non-smoker? You look at this delicate-looking pink organ--complex, like a coral reef--and then you see these blackened hard lumps, like overcooked meat (and I suppose that's a pretty good analogy), and you wonder why anyone would do that to such an amazing structure in your body--I mean, think about it--how much we need them--if they stopped functioning now, we'd spend the next few minutes dying in agony. Why risk something so wonderfully made?
Here's a thought-for-the-day from another great website, whyquit.com. I am so impressed by the knowledge the author has to share, and the compassion this man has for smokers. I found the following on this page, and I hope he won't mind that I copied it here (lots and lots of good info on this page, btw, but some very graphic lung images:
http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_02_17_smoke_in_lung.html):
When an ex-smoker watches a person smoke a cigarette, he often fantasizes about how much the smoker is enjoying it--how good it must taste and make him feel. It is true he may be enjoying that particular cigarette, but the odds are he is not.
Most smokers enjoy a very small percentage of the cigarettes they smoke. In fact, they are really unaware of most of the cigarettes they smoke. Some are smoked out of simple habit, but most are smoked in order to alleviate withdrawal symptoms experienced by all smokers whose nicotine levels have fallen below minimal requirements. The cigarette may taste horrible, but the smoker has to smoke it. And because the majority of smokers are such addicts, they must smoke many such cigarettes every single day in order to maintain a constant blood nicotine level.
Don't fantasize about cigarettes. Always keep a clear, objective perspective of what it would once again be like to be an addicted smoker. There is no doubt at all that if you relapse to smoking you will be under the control of a very powerful addiction. You will be spending hundreds of dollars a year for thousands of cigarettes. You will smell like cigarettes and be viewed as socially unacceptable in many circles. You will be inhaling thousands of poisons with every puff. These poisons will rob you of your endurance and your health. One day they may eventually rob you of your life.
Consider all these consequences of smoking. Then, when you watch a smoker you will feel pity for them, not envy. Consider the life he or she is living compared to the simpler, happier, and healthier life you have had since you broke free from your addiction. Consider all this and you will - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF
and one more piece of info from Wikipedia:
Three men who appeared in Marlboro advertisements - Wayne McLaren, David McLean and Dick Hammer - died of lung cancer, thus earning Marlboro cigarettes, specifically Marlboro Reds, the nickname "Cowboy killers".[11] McLaren testified in favor of anti-smoking legislation at the age of 51. During the time of McLaren's anti-smoking activism, Philip Morris denied that McLaren ever appeared in a Marlboro ad, a position it later amended to maintaining that while he did appear in ads, he was not the Marlboro Man, considering Winfield as the holder of that title. McLaren died before his 52nd birthday in 1992.[12][13]
I know that I keep throwing the tough stuff at you--don't doubt for a minute that I am 100% impressed and supportive of what you are doing, even if I come at it from a shock-value angle. The reality is that we kid ourselves--denial is one of the hallmarks of addiction--and we have to be willing to set down the denial and face reality to break the chains of addiction. Keeping it real keeps us on track. I know that some days are going to be harder than others, but I promise you these are the ones you will look back on YEARS from now, and be proud and grateful that you made it through.
A couple of insights to share: when you struggle with an addiction like this, you just keep trying, and if you fall, you pick yourself up and you try again. Because this is the simple truth--you never know which time is going to be THE time, until the time you look back and realize you made it (and I think you're right--I think this is it for you). I failed at quitting so many times, fell flat on my face, and just kept getting up and trying again. Until the time that I didn't start again. And (I think I'm repeating myself here from an earlier post, but o well) each time I tried, I learned something about the process, about myself, until one day I had all this information at hand, and it came together and I became free. And it is SO INCREDIBLY AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL that you are doing this, too.
I bet your wife is so happy and so proud of you. You might consider taking her out someplace nice for dinner sometime, and telling her that it's because you got a refund when you cancelled your addiction contract with the tobacco companies.