what to do?

[CowboyAndy]

alright, im not normally one to air my dirty laundry, but i figured this would be something you guys could help with.


a little back story first. my father in law owns 400 acres, half of that wooded. he is (was) a farmer, do it yourself, if you cant make it with your own 2 hands you dont need it kind of guy. after all his kids moved out, he had to find other ways of getting his firewood. enter Irving jr (we call him junior) wo says if you let me hunt on your land, i'll cut split and deliver all the firewood you need (cut from my father in laws land of course).

so this year, the middle of september comes around and he still has no wood (thats when heating season starts here). junior says that its in the back in a pile since march cut and split, but he cant get to it because of the corn. so me and my brother in law go in the back to check, and cant get anywhere because of the corn. but heading down the path we notice lots of fresh cut beech, some whole logs, some freshly bucked, none split. we are concerned that this is my father in laws wood, so we tell him. junior tells him it isnt. the NEXT DAY, junior brings the firewood (says he made a path through the corn). guess what it is? freshly cut and split beech. i mean dripping wet. tried to tell my father in law that it wasnt green and had been sitting all summer. which i know is total bullshit. anyways, i need to help him. the problem is now that he is getting older and letting things go, he really doesnt care that it isnt seasoned. his logic is that hes burned green wood before and nothing happened. hes just so stubborn that he will burn it regardless. i need to get it out of there and some decent wood in.

i have some maple that was dying (not dead standing) and was cut split and stacked in early june that should be close to being okay. i know it will be better than what he has. i also have more basswood that got trapped by the corn in a different field that has been split and piled since march.

i want to trade with him for the green beech, im just afraid hes going to get pissed about us "meddling in his business" so to speak... you guys know how these old time farmers are...


what sucks is if we do this, i will have to cut all of mine in half, as i cut 22" because i have a furnace, where he has a pretty small wood stove. alot will have to be split again too. but hes family so i'll do what i have to to.


sorry this is so long, its also sort of a vent. i appreciate you all listening and giving advice... i know i can count on the boys from hearth.com!

 

[Wet1]

I'ts a shame to see good beech wasted, but let him do what he's going to do. No fight, easier for you too. Clean the poop out of his chimney frequently. Give Jr a good swift kick in the azz and send him packing!

 

[Wood Duck]

I think you can offer some drier wood, but then you'll have to let him decide what to do. Maybe you can pile some drier wood next to the beech and he'll try it on his own, but if he doesn't want to trade, I wouldn't push the issue. Just sneak a look at the chimney when you're there to make sure it doesn't get too clogged. You could cut some wood this winter and stack it for next year.

 

[smokinj]

problem is this is a fourm and thats real life,after the corns down just look for dead stuff.Thats when the real season starts around here and the farmer are haveing a tuff time getting the crops in.Many times I have cut out of the woods splitt and had it in the stove the same day dead standing elm and ash and anyting already on the ground

 

[Bigg_Redd]

alright, im not normally one to air my dirty laundry, but i figured this would be something you guys could help with.


a little back story first. my father in law owns 400 acres, half of that wooded. he is (was) a farmer, do it yourself, if you cant make it with your own 2 hands you dont need it kind of guy. after all his kids moved out, he had to find other ways of getting his firewood. enter Irving jr (we call him junior) wo says if you let me hunt on your land, i'll cut split and deliver all the firewood you need (cut from my father in laws land of course).

so this year, the middle of september comes around and he still has no wood (thats when heating season starts here). junior says that its in the back in a pile since march cut and split, but he cant get to it because of the corn. so me and my brother in law go in the back to check, and cant get anywhere because of the corn. but heading down the path we notice lots of fresh cut beech, some whole logs, some freshly bucked, none split. we are concerned that this is my father in laws wood, so we tell him. junior tells him it isnt. the NEXT DAY, junior brings the firewood (says he made a path through the corn). guess what it is? freshly cut and split beech. i mean dripping wet. tried to tell my father in law that it wasnt green and had been sitting all summer. which i know is total bullshit. anyways, i need to help him. the problem is now that he is getting older and letting things go, he really doesnt care that it isnt seasoned. his logic is that hes burned green wood before and nothing happened. hes just so stubborn that he will burn it regardless. i need to get it out of there and some decent wood in.

i have some maple that was dying (not dead standing) and was cut split and stacked in early june that should be close to being okay. i know it will be better than what he has. i also have more basswood that got trapped by the corn in a different field that has been split and piled since march.

i want to trade with him for the green beech, im just afraid hes going to get pissed about us "meddling in his business" so to speak... you guys know how these old time farmers are...


what sucks is if we do this, i will have to cut all of mine in half, as i cut 22" because i have a furnace, where he has a pretty small wood stove. alot will have to be split again too. but hes family so i'll do what i have to to.


sorry this is so long, its also sort of a vent. i appreciate you all listening and giving advice... i know i can count on the boys from hearth.com!

Bigg Redd rarely refuses any request for help, but he don't go around trying to solve anyone's problems preemptively.

 

[quads]

I agree with what the others have said. Offer to help him out, but don't push the issue. I'm a similar kind of guy and I would politely refuse the help, preferring to do it on my own, the way I always have. I would be happy for the offer though. It sounds like he has experience burning wood, and will know what he needs to do to burn the green wood. Just keep an eye on him and his chimney and help him if needed. I'm sure he'll do fine.

 

[Backwoods Savage]

Andy, the first thing you need to do is to get rid of junior!

I would be concerned also about that corn he cut to get in there. If your dad isn't farming any more then that means he is either leasing or renting out the ground. If junior has cut some corn, someone could be extremely upset and rightly so. At just under $4.00 per bushel, you would not want to come up missing much corn for sure.

As for dad, it sounds like he is the type that you don't want to confuse with the facts because he has his mind made up. Therefore there probably is not much you can do. However, I'd let him try to burn the stuff for a couple weeks and then see how it is going. You don't say what kind of stove he has so we are blind there but hopefully it is one of the older stoves. And you've gotten the good advice about checking his chimney.

When a man has done for himself all his life and then as he ages and has to let some other people do some of the things he used to always do on his own....it gets pretty tough to take emotionally. It is difficult to admit that physically you just can't do what you want to. Furthermore, when people are younger, an overnight rest most times is all they need or maybe a days rest. Not so as we age. The body gets tired and it seems to take forever to recuperate.

So please keep this in mind (everyone) when dealing with the older folks. Don't make it harder for them than necessary; emotionally as well as physically.

 

[SolarAndWood]

My father in law recently passed away and was as stubborn and proud as any. I simply didn't ask and gave freely. For example, I emptied his garage out so that his car wasn't in the driveway with 2 feet of snow on it. Made a big difference to someone on oxygen who wanted to live out his life in his own house. Give him what you can afford to give him and leave it at that. If he gives you grief about it, thank him for the privilege of marrying his daughter and access to his woodlot. Then ask him if he wants a beer and move the conversation elsewhere.

 

[Duetech]

Spend some time at your father in laws while he is burning wood. If there are problems with the way the wood burns ask him what's wrong with it and let him tell you what's wrong with it. He'll be more open to discussion if you let him tell you what you already know. Put some of the wood you have in where it can get some serious drying now and offer to bring it over and trade him some drier wood, for what he's got, to help you build up next years supply, but let him start asking himself "what am I gonna do now?" before you jump in. Someone who has been fixing what is wrong for as long as he has would find some reassurance in helping you address a problem while solving one of his own. Avoid trashing "junior" verbally to skirt making your father in law suspicious about your attitude towards junior and causing your father in law to defend his pride and judgement when he is faced with the truth. "I can make do" is nothing but pride but if given a chance it could cause your father in law to make a bad choice.

 

[Wood Duck]

its not as if burning green wood is a sure death sentence - lots of people do it and survive to tell the tale. It will be a bigger pain than it should be, and the chimney will get dirtier than necessary, but that isn't the end of the world. He probably has burnt green wood before and knows what he is doing. I think your best chance of helping him is to offer to replace junior as wood supplier, so at least in the future he won't have the same problem. Tell him you enjoy the excercise, so it would be no trouble, etc., etc....

 

[CowboyAndy]

well, just an update on this: i offered to trade with my father in law and he declined.

but he is using some common sense, mixing the green wood with some dry left over from last year...

 

[learnin to burn]

I don't think Junior needs to go, But explain to junior the problem and ask him to have next years wood cut, split, and stacked up by the house where you can find and inspect that it is done by an acceptable time.

Make sure you explain to him the dangers of burning green wood so he know if something happens to the in-laws, he won't have a place to hunt anymore.

 

[quads]

well, just an update on this: i offered to trade with my father in law and he declined.

but he is using some common sense, mixing the green wood with some dry left over from last year...

I figured he would decline. I'm sure it made him feel good that you offered though. He will do just fine.

 

[Bubbavh]

Add some more wood to his seasoned pile. Don't ask just do it! If he asks you about it tell him you had some extra laying around. Then ask him a question about farming or somthing he knows a lot about that you may need help with. Then give instructions to Junior about how and where and when to leave the wood.

 

[ikessky]

Isn't dealing with in-laws fun? Especially when they are stubborn. I've found that the best thing to do with mine is to just do the task for them instead of asking if you can help. They usually say no, but can't complain when the job gets done anyway.

Handle the situation with Junior in a tactful way and things should be fine. Don't become upset or acqusitory. Just politely explain that the wood really needs to be split and stacked by a certain time so that it will be ready to burn. Tell him that you are solely concerned for your FIL's safety because green wood leads to more creosote and the old-timer shouldn't be climbing on the roof in the winter to sweep the chimney and you don't want him to have a chimney fire.

 

[flyingcow]

Andy, the first thing you need to do is to get rid of junior!

I would be concerned also about that corn he cut to get in there. If your dad isn't farming any more then that means he is either leasing or renting out the ground. If junior has cut some corn, someone could be extremely upset and rightly so. At just under $4.00 per bushel, you would not want to come up missing much corn for sure.

As for dad, it sounds like he is the type that you don't want to confuse with the facts because he has his mind made up. Therefore there probably is not much you can do. However, I'd let him try to burn the stuff for a couple weeks and then see how it is going. You don't say what kind of stove he has so we are blind there but hopefully it is one of the older stoves. And you've gotten the good advice about checking his chimney.

When a man has done for himself all his life and then as he ages and has to let some other people do some of the things he used to always do on his own....it gets pretty tough to take emotionally. It is difficult to admit that physically you just can't do what you want to. Furthermore, when people are younger, an overnight rest most times is all they need or maybe a days rest. Not so as we age. The body gets tired and it seems to take forever to recuperate.

So please keep this in mind (everyone) when dealing with the older folks. Don't make it harder for them than necessary; emotionally as well as physically.

Wanted to comment. Backwoods Savage, excellent post. Also, juniors got to go. He not only didn't do the job as promised, he flat out lied! You and your BIL take junior out in the back field and explain to him, he's not welcomed. The BIL should lead this conversation. Tell him if any wood comes up missing, he should expect a visit. I wouldn't be surprised it you cruise the woods, you might find some missing. Don't like it when new "friends" pop up when the older folks are getting along in the years. He told 2 or 3 lies about the wood, right at the beginning. Those are the ones you know about.

 

[ccwhite]

Be ready to swab out the chimney as needed. Have a talk with Junior.