You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

[pistonslap]

When you don't sleep late all winter because you have to get up and reload the stove first thing in the morning.

 

[wg_bent]

You start thinking of ways to cook inside your wood stove.

 

[begreen]

To you...

"Log on" is not a computer term.
"Cord" is not a car.
"Morning wood" is nothing to be embarrassed about.
"Cat" is not a pet.
"Flaming" is not gay.
"Damper" has nothing to do with moisture.

Nice ones Spot!

Also:
"Poker" is not a game
"Flue" is not a sickness
"Baffles" aren't confusing
and "Elm" shows that you can love something you hate.

 

[Todd]

You plan your daily activities around your refueling cycle. Sorry honey, we can't leave just yet, I need to load the stove in an hour.

 

[babalu87]

LOL at it not being cold enough, same here.
70 can feel pretty chilly cant it

You know your a real wood burner when you go to the free section of craigslist looking for even more firewood every day at least twice

 

[njtomatoguy]

You get excited when you think you hear a chainsaw in the neighborhood, immediatly stop whatever you are doing and hop in the car and head towards the noise, to be the first to scrounge free wood...

 

[jjbaer]

you get irritated by warm temps in late november because you can't run the stove.

I turn my old Buck Stove insert on anytime the outside temp is about 55 or below...no draft problems!

 

[ecfinn]

I don't have draft problems in warm weather, I've got livingroom too hot problems. I really don't need that much heat when its so warm outside... I literally get roasted out of the room with my inside temps in the 80s... I've got my new insert at home waiting, unused, for the cold weather to get here over the weekend.

 

[bruce56bb]

same here eric, too warm a livingroom=irritated wife.

 

[quads]

You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When…

...the firewood dealers don't rip you off anymore since you started working for them on the weekends.

...you have become the local firewood dealer.

...you wake up one morning and the children tell you your favorite chainsaw (which seems like just yesterday when you brought it home) is old school out of date technology.

...you are no longer afraid of creosote, but merely see it as banking heat for the next cold snap.

...you were piling firewood before they invented tarps (and remember what the word "tarp" is actually shortened from) and are surprised to meet people that are shocked by your "naked wood".

 

[wg_bent]

Your wife wants to leave her sisters house to get home to the wood stove

You know exactly how much wood the trunk and back seat of a Dodge Neon will handle.

You know the spceies of a tree with no leaves or bark and how many btu's/lb it is.

I have to add to the first one again...Last night...62 degrees outside, 75 inside. Wife asks if I'm going to light a fire. Good grief no I replied, it woudld be 90 in here... She sighed and said.."o.k. I just get used to it and miss it when it's not burning" so I asked if she wanted to sit down and read a post about stove top temps and look at someone's picture of a digital thermometer pointed at a hot stove...She declined, but did sort of find the picture slightly interesting...

She has been assimilated. Resistance is futile.

 

[carpniels]

Hi Guys,

This is the best post ever. I love all the comments and had to laugh out hard a few times (funnny looks frol colleagues).

I do most if not all of those things.

I can't really add to them.

carpniels

 

[hardwood715]

I have to add to the first one again...Last night...62 degrees outside, 75 inside. Wife asks if I’m going to light a fire. Good grief no I replied, it woudld be 90 in here…

I got the stove cooking, the front and rear door open wifeys got the ceiling fan, and a box fan pointed at her on the couch, I'm thinking to myself, hey wonder if that fan is helping the stove by make up air??? shel like its now 88 in here, im like push that fan around towards the stairwell for a while, blow some hot air up stairs, shes got the upstairs windows open, oh well so much for banking heat!

 

[wg_bent]

When...

- your 9 and 7 year old boys can split a log easier than their 14 year old cousin
- Your wood pile is so large you can loose a small child in it
- The kids take advantage of that previous fact and hang a sign on it.. "Fort Wood pile"
- You discover the kids have a set of chairs set up inside the rows of stacks ...Good grief.. I think they've been in there playing poker

 

[Andre B.]

When...

- your 9 and 7 year old boys can split a log easier than their 14 year old cousin
- Your wood pile is so large you can loose a small child in it
- The kids take advantage of that previous fact and hang a sign on it.. "Fort Wood pile"
- You discover the kids have a set of chairs set up inside the rows of stacks ...Good grief.. I think they've been in there playing poker

Was visiting an ante and uncle one time, my cousin was stacking wood in about a 3/4 scale version of the floor plan of the house, said she was bored with just making rows. No retaining posts on the ends of the piles for doorways or windows but she did use some boards over the tops of the windows. You could have sprayed some concrete on the sides of the piles put on a roof and moved in.

She was about 12 at the time.
_____________
Andre' B.

 

[budman]

When you have 7 cords cut ,split,stacked and another 6 cords ready to do the same . Just got deliverd thurs
day. Thank god for my daughters boyfriend

 

[begreen]

When...

- your 9 and 7 year old boys can split a log easier than their 14 year old cousin
- Your wood pile is so large you can loose a small child in it
- The kids take advantage of that previous fact and hang a sign on it.. "Fort Wood pile"
- You discover the kids have a set of chairs set up inside the rows of stacks ...Good grief.. I think they've been in there playing poker

Was visiting an ante and uncle one time, my cousin was stacking wood in about a 3/4 scale version of the floor plan of the house, said she was bored with just making rows. No retaining posts on the ends of the piles for doorways or windows but she did use some boards over the tops of the windows. You could have sprayed some concrete on the sides of the piles put on a roof and moved in.

She was about 12 at the time.
_____________
Andre' B.

Great story Andre' . That would be a good one for the archives.

 

[MichaelS]

Your up at 3:00 in the morning taping your secondary burn for Hearth.com folks.

 

[begreen]

oooh that one's a bit too close to home... I was doing that last night at 1 am. :red:

 

[Mo Heat]

You have a wireless outdoor thermometer sensor inside your woodpile and can calculate the wood's relative moisture content based upon temperature differentials.

You've successfully burned your stove at outside temps over 60 degrees F with low-density wood.

You'd rather spend countless hours of backbreaking labor processing wood for the equivalent wage of pennies an hour rather than put in a little overtime to easily pay for it.

You own three different weights of splitting mauls or more than one chainsaw.

Your wife rolls her eyes whenever you speak on any subject remotely associated with wood burning.

You can sharpen your own chainsaw.

You receive unsolicited phone calls when neighbors are having trees cut.

Most of your sox are stained from chain-sawdust in your boots.

You own a pair of Kevlar pants.

You often wear shorts and a T-shirt during the winter.

Power failures in single digit weather no longer worry you.

You experiment with esoteric wood stacking techniques.

---

This was my favorite last year from Brother Bart:

At a wine tasting you describe the Cabarnet as “Oaky with just a hint of creosote.”.

Here is last year's similar thread:

https://www.hearth.com/econtent/index.php/forums/viewthread/88/

 

[hardwood715]

At a wine tasting you describe the Cabarnet as “Oaky with just a hint of creosote.”.

That ole southern BarbyQ flavor He He He

 

[ourhouse]

When you get a 1/2" long sliver under you'r finger nail and it doesn't seem to bother you that much.

 

[johnsopi]

When come home and it is 40 deg outside all the widows are open and you don't get mad.