You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

Post in 'The Hearth Room - Wood Stoves and Fireplaces' started by BrotherBart, Nov 6, 2008.

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  1. Valhalla

    Valhalla
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    Minister of Fire

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    When no other method heats your home as well!
     
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  2. Valhalla

    Valhalla
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    Minister of Fire

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    When... the neighbors identify you by the following on your property:

    - Pickup truck, filled with logs

    - Tractor

    - Trailer

    - Unsplit wood

    - Split wood, yet to be stacked by the wife ;>)

    - Untold stacks of wood

    - Path in the snow to the wood stove room door

    - And... almost no visible smoke from the chimney!
     
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  3. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart
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    Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division
    Staff Member

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    Every two years just like clockwork they come out and replace my meter. You would think the fact that they have to walk past 9-12 cords of wood when they do it would give them a clue.
     
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  4. Redox

    Redox
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    Minister of Fire

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    Burbs of B'more, MD, Hon!
    ...when the utility company calls because they can't get to your meter due to all the wood in the back yard, you know you're a Woodneck! :coolsmile:

    Chris
     
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  5. ScottF

    ScottF
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    When the oil company calls you to complain that someone removed the oil fill pipes on the back of the house and they cant deliver.

    This just happened to me, I got a little chuckle out of it. I was the culprit.
     
  6. barnartist

    barnartist
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    Minister of Fire

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    ...both times a season your wife offers to check the outdoor boiler on her way to work, and even though you are comfortable in bed, tell her not to because she might mess it up.
     
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  7. barnartist

    barnartist
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    Minister of Fire

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    ...you buy the latest "Dora The Explorer" DVD so your yungins will be entertained long enough to go tend to the fire. Also "Sponge Bob" works well for this too, so you tend to the fire at the proper programming time...
     
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  8. kenny chaos

    kenny chaos
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    Minister of Fire

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    ....you do every freakin' thing on these nine ridiculous pages?
     
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  9. brooktrout

    brooktrout
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    Woodneck! LMFAO :lol:
     
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  10. Redox

    Redox
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    Minister of Fire

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    It has to be said with a Jeff Foxworthy type accent...

    C
     
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  11. Tudorman

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    That, my friend, is hard core.
     
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  12. BrowningBAR

    BrowningBAR
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    Minister of Fire

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    I just got a letter from my oil company informing me that there appears to be something wrong with my oil tank as it is still reading "full". They have asked me to check the tank to be sure it is functioning properly.

    I DID inform them that I installed a wood stove. I guess they forgot.
     
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  13. LLigetfa

    LLigetfa
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    Minister of Fire

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    There have been reports of people removing their tank but not the fill pipe and the oil company pumping oil into their basement. It is good that you DID remove it!
     
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  14. justneedit

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    ...the cap on your fuel oil fill pipe has rusted on!!
     
  15. justneedit

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    ...you've recently had your 57th birthday and you've been burning wood for almost 2/3s of your life!!
     
  16. Chief Ryan

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    When you talk to your wood pile.
     
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  17. Crabbypatty

    Crabbypatty
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    If you join forum on wood burning and read a nine page post like this one. you might be a woodneck.
     
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  18. andybaker

    andybaker
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    Feeling the Heat

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    When your wife accuses you of having an affair - with your wood pile.
    When I reply - it's all about my stove, she's HOT!
     
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  19. karri0n

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    When you DON'T think that the other thread says "Stroking in the middle of the night" at first glance.
     
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  20. coffeedogz3

    coffeedogz3
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    When I tell my husband I need some wood and ...umm.... he goes to the basment instead of upstairs. ;-)
     
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  21. Chief Ryan

    Chief Ryan
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    When my wife accuses me of having an affair with the spider in the wood pile!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
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  22. meathead

    meathead
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    Feeling the Heat

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    When over the summer you get nice cool well water out of the tap, but when winter rolls around you need to run the faucet for a while to get the warm water out of the pipes.
     
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  23. trapshooter9

    trapshooter9
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    When your wife and teenage daughter have a good laugh at your expense (and call you a freak) after they find that your digital camera is loaded with pictures of your wood stacks and new wood stove.
     
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  24. dvellone

    dvellone
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    Feeling the Heat

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    when your wife is thumbing through the Victoria's Secret catalog trying to get your input on what to buy and you're gawking at the woodstove telling her to just LOOK at that secondary burn!
     
  25. bbeals

    bbeals
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    Member

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    When you are paying $300+ per cord of wood and you can still smile while looking at the pile to be stacked.
     
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