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You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

Post in 'The Hearth Room - Wood Stoves and Fireplaces' started by BrotherBart, Nov 6, 2008.

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  1. Valhalla

    Valhalla Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    907
    Loc:
    Essex County, New York
    When no other method heats your home as well!

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  2. Valhalla

    Valhalla Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    907
    Loc:
    Essex County, New York
    When... the neighbors identify you by the following on your property:

    - Pickup truck, filled with logs

    - Tractor

    - Trailer

    - Unsplit wood

    - Split wood, yet to be stacked by the wife ;>)

    - Untold stacks of wood

    - Path in the snow to the wood stove room door

    - And... almost no visible smoke from the chimney!
  3. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    27,283
    Loc:
    Northern Virginia
    Every two years just like clockwork they come out and replace my meter. You would think the fact that they have to walk past 9-12 cords of wood when they do it would give them a clue.
  4. Redox

    Redox Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2008
    Messages:
    1,099
    Loc:
    Burbs of B'more, MD, Hon!
    ...when the utility company calls because they can't get to your meter due to all the wood in the back yard, you know you're a Woodneck! :coolsmile:

    Chris
  5. ScottF

    ScottF New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2008
    Messages:
    411
    Loc:
    Southern NH
    When the oil company calls you to complain that someone removed the oil fill pipes on the back of the house and they cant deliver.

    This just happened to me, I got a little chuckle out of it. I was the culprit.
  6. barnartist

    barnartist Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2007
    Messages:
    574
    Loc:
    Jerusalem, Ohio;
    ...both times a season your wife offers to check the outdoor boiler on her way to work, and even though you are comfortable in bed, tell her not to because she might mess it up.
  7. barnartist

    barnartist Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2007
    Messages:
    574
    Loc:
    Jerusalem, Ohio;
    ...you buy the latest "Dora The Explorer" DVD so your yungins will be entertained long enough to go tend to the fire. Also "Sponge Bob" works well for this too, so you tend to the fire at the proper programming time...
  8. kenny chaos

    kenny chaos Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2008
    Messages:
    1,995
    Loc:
    Rochester,ny
    ....you do every freakin' thing on these nine ridiculous pages?
  9. brooktrout

    brooktrout New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    376
    Loc:
    Hamden, NY
    Woodneck! LMFAO :lol:
  10. Redox

    Redox Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2008
    Messages:
    1,099
    Loc:
    Burbs of B'more, MD, Hon!
    It has to be said with a Jeff Foxworthy type accent...

    C
  11. Tudorman

    Tudorman New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2008
    Messages:
    40
    Loc:
    The Great Snowbelt of Northeast Ohio
    That, my friend, is hard core.
  12. BrowningBAR

    BrowningBAR Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    7,607
    Loc:
    Doylestown, PA
    I just got a letter from my oil company informing me that there appears to be something wrong with my oil tank as it is still reading "full". They have asked me to check the tank to be sure it is functioning properly.

    I DID inform them that I installed a wood stove. I guess they forgot.
  13. LLigetfa

    LLigetfa Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2008
    Messages:
    7,343
    Loc:
    NW Ontario
    There have been reports of people removing their tank but not the fill pipe and the oil company pumping oil into their basement. It is good that you DID remove it!
  14. justneedit

    justneedit New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Messages:
    3
    Loc:
    Central New York
    ...the cap on your fuel oil fill pipe has rusted on!!
  15. justneedit

    justneedit New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2008
    Messages:
    3
    Loc:
    Central New York
    ...you've recently had your 57th birthday and you've been burning wood for almost 2/3s of your life!!
  16. Chief Ryan

    Chief Ryan New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2008
    Messages:
    172
    Loc:
    Long Island NY
    When you talk to your wood pile.
  17. Crabbypatty

    Crabbypatty New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2008
    Messages:
    81
    Loc:
    Western MA
    If you join forum on wood burning and read a nine page post like this one. you might be a woodneck.
  18. andybaker

    andybaker Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2008
    Messages:
    391
    Loc:
    Northwest OH
    When your wife accuses you of having an affair - with your wood pile.
    When I reply - it's all about my stove, she's HOT!
  19. karri0n

    karri0n New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2008
    Messages:
    1,148
    Loc:
    Eastern CT
    When you DON'T think that the other thread says "Stroking in the middle of the night" at first glance.
  20. coffeedogz3

    coffeedogz3 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    48
    Loc:
    Lat: 39.9 Lon: -83.13 (OH)
    When I tell my husband I need some wood and ...umm.... he goes to the basment instead of upstairs. ;-)
  21. Chief Ryan

    Chief Ryan New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2008
    Messages:
    172
    Loc:
    Long Island NY
    When my wife accuses me of having an affair with the spider in the wood pile!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  22. meathead

    meathead Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2008
    Messages:
    353
    Loc:
    Central Maine
    When over the summer you get nice cool well water out of the tap, but when winter rolls around you need to run the faucet for a while to get the warm water out of the pipes.
  23. trapshooter9

    trapshooter9 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2008
    Messages:
    37
    Loc:
    Central Ohio
    When your wife and teenage daughter have a good laugh at your expense (and call you a freak) after they find that your digital camera is loaded with pictures of your wood stacks and new wood stove.
  24. dvellone

    dvellone Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2006
    Messages:
    449
    when your wife is thumbing through the Victoria's Secret catalog trying to get your input on what to buy and you're gawking at the woodstove telling her to just LOOK at that secondary burn!
  25. bbeals

    bbeals Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    Messages:
    129
    Loc:
    South East, NH
    When you are paying $300+ per cord of wood and you can still smile while looking at the pile to be stacked.
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