So is it just me or is the child protections services broken all over the world? Side with the parent that has been reported, do not speak to other people that reported incidents, or even hospitals that have the medical reports. Have not had to deal with this for 30 years and nothing has changed
Child services
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Dan Freeman
Minister of Fire
I worked for child services in NJ for a few years back in the 1980's. Even at that time, our caseloads were so high, we were lucky to be able to see our clients on the schedule we were "required" to see them. I'm sure it is even worse now with all the craziness going on. We were always dealing with emergencies it seemed. Trying to get services for our clients was difficult and required a pile of paperwork. Half my day, sometimes my whole day, was nothing but paperwork; forget about being able to take care of my cases. I worked in the per capita drug capital of the United States...Paterson, NJ. Everything was relative; even if parents were using drugs, that was not cause to find institutional placement or a suitable family member for placement of a child or children, otherwise, 80% of the children would have been living elsewhere. The job was horrible. I lasted 2 years before I found other work.
ya i bet its a hard job... i probably would not last 2 days... To me it seems like it was do as little work possible and take the accused parents word for everything instead of doing the work to get the proof of the allegations. They did not even listen to the child who backed up all claims... Just frigging sad.... whats it going to take the child to do something to them self?
Prof
Minister of Fire
They have broadened the mandated reporting criteria in PA (thanks to Sandusky and the Catholic Church), which has further stressed an already over-taxed system. Even before this all shook out, I was so frustrated with the system that I decided to not work with children and focus on folks over 18.
Dan Freeman
Minister of Fire
A lot depends on the worker you get. Some are excellent. Some are decent. And, some are either terrible at the job or are just going through the motions. The profession has a high burn-out rate. Some never burn out. Some burn out after decades. Some burn out after a short period, and should either leave or be fired, but it is hard to fire a government worker and find people to do that thankless job. Also, just because the parent is accused, does not mean action will be taken. A worker has to have "proof" when it goes to court. (Did I mention in my first post about the hours just sitting in the courthouse hallway waiting for your case to be called while you could be out taking care of your caseload?) Children will often lie because they are afraid of the parent or feel responsible for the neglect or abuse. A lot of cases don't even make it to the hospital for examination. I feel bad you experienced a negative outcome. Believe me, they happen too often. But, there are also a lot of success stories - the ones that don't get folks talking. Hoping for the best for you...
I'm sure its a hard job.
I think the real problem is that many situations turn into a 'he said/she said' situation, where one person is clearly lying, but it is sometimes very difficult to figure out who is doing the lying. And sometimes the best liars have good lawyers and deep pockets.
Compounding the matter, most abusers are also liars, who have usually had decades of experience hoodwinking people. And the other parent (often also a victim) can be deeply in denial about what is really going on.
Most honest counselors will tell you how difficult it is to discern the truth of the matter in complex abuse situations like this.
In my own case (18 years married to a covert abusive sociopath), the former Mrs Woodgeek had our entire married social circle and my in-laws all convinced that I was emotionally abusing her and the children, for more than a decade, totally unbeknownst to me! All the while telling them to 'treat me nicely' and not let me know 'that they knew'. After she called the cops on me to make a false charge in 2016, I eventually wised up to her 'game'. But nearly 5 years later and happily divorced, all but one of those people still think I am an abusive skunk, have ghosted me, and give me the stink-eye when they cross my path. There is no changing that. Most humans will never admit that they swallowed lies and were hoodwinked for a decade or longer. Its too much of an ego hit, even when presented with hard evidence.
The 'one' old friend who saw the light BTW was the dude married to my X's BFF, who pulled the same trick on him!
For the record, if a person tells us they are being abused, I think we should usually believe them. But a world where we reflexively believe all accusations will be one where false accusers can run amok.
I think the real problem is that many situations turn into a 'he said/she said' situation, where one person is clearly lying, but it is sometimes very difficult to figure out who is doing the lying. And sometimes the best liars have good lawyers and deep pockets.
Compounding the matter, most abusers are also liars, who have usually had decades of experience hoodwinking people. And the other parent (often also a victim) can be deeply in denial about what is really going on.
Most honest counselors will tell you how difficult it is to discern the truth of the matter in complex abuse situations like this.
In my own case (18 years married to a covert abusive sociopath), the former Mrs Woodgeek had our entire married social circle and my in-laws all convinced that I was emotionally abusing her and the children, for more than a decade, totally unbeknownst to me! All the while telling them to 'treat me nicely' and not let me know 'that they knew'. After she called the cops on me to make a false charge in 2016, I eventually wised up to her 'game'. But nearly 5 years later and happily divorced, all but one of those people still think I am an abusive skunk, have ghosted me, and give me the stink-eye when they cross my path. There is no changing that. Most humans will never admit that they swallowed lies and were hoodwinked for a decade or longer. Its too much of an ego hit, even when presented with hard evidence.
The 'one' old friend who saw the light BTW was the dude married to my X's BFF, who pulled the same trick on him!
For the record, if a person tells us they are being abused, I think we should usually believe them. But a world where we reflexively believe all accusations will be one where false accusers can run amok.
yes its definitely a he said/she said... But all they took into consideration is what she said... We had proof, child never changed the story, and their are hospital records available even 2 accounts of physical abuse... Once we get this straitened out i will be filling a complaint against the system.. no way a child should suffer like this..
In a job like this if you cannot do it properly and for the best interest of the child then quit since they are not helping the child anyway then what is the point they are just wasting everyone's time
In a job like this if you cannot do it properly and for the best interest of the child then quit since they are not helping the child anyway then what is the point they are just wasting everyone's time
tlc1976
Minister of Fire
10 years ago I met with the ADAM lawyers (advertised to be the best in Michigan for father’s rights) and it was pretty hopeless. They told me that they couldn’t even get get someone’s kid out of a situation where the mom was living in a drug house. That pretty much said it all for me. After that I just dealt with everything on my own for 8 more years. Thank god she’s grown up now and I had some positive influence on her.
well here goes lawyer # 2.. really sucks that this is one of the few services you have to pay in advance...
