Wood burning humor

[WoodyIsGoody]

An elderly couple was sitting around the wood stove enjoying a few glasses of wine. After a long silence the husband said, "I love you so much I don't know how I could ever live without you!". The wife said, "Dear, that is so sweet but is that you or the wine talking?" The husband said, "No, that's me talking to the wood stove!".

 

[Blazing]

I like it! Nice to see some humor up in here

 

[Montanalocal]

Redneck Joke
Log On: Making a wood stove hot
Log Off: Too much wood on a fire
Monitor: Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
Download: Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
Megahertz: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood
Floppy disc: Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
Ram: That thar thang what splits the farwood
Hard Drive: Gitten home in the winter time
Windows: Whut to shut when its cold outside
Screen: Whut to shut when its black fly season
Byte: Whut dem dang flys do
Chip: Munchies fer the TV
Micro Chip: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
Modem: Whatcha do to the hay fields
Dot Matrix: Ole Dan Matrix's wife
Lap Top: Whar the kitty sleeps
Keyboard: Whar you hang the dang truck keys
Software: Dem dang plastic forks and knifes
Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn
Mousepad: That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
Mainframe: Holds up the barn roof
Port: Fancy flatlander wine
Enter: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
Click: What you hear when you cock yer gun
Double Click: When you cock the double barrel
Reboot: Whut you have to do right before bedtime when you have to go to the outhouse.


source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Stove#ixzz4ZdQ3kWw4

 

[Blazing]

Redneck Joke
Log On: Making a wood stove hot
Log Off: Too much wood on a fire
Monitor: Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
Download: Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
Megahertz: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood
Floppy disc: Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
Ram: That thar thang what splits the farwood
Hard Drive: Gitten home in the winter time
Windows: Whut to shut when its cold outside
Screen: Whut to shut when its black fly season
Byte: Whut dem dang flys do
Chip: Munchies fer the TV
Micro Chip: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
Modem: Whatcha do to the hay fields
Dot Matrix: Ole Dan Matrix's wife
Lap Top: Whar the kitty sleeps
Keyboard: Whar you hang the dang truck keys
Software: Dem dang plastic forks and knifes
Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn
Mousepad: That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
Mainframe: Holds up the barn roof
Port: Fancy flatlander wine
Enter: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
Click: What you hear when you cock yer gun
Double Click: When you cock the double barrel
Reboot: Whut you have to do right before bedtime when you have to go to the outhouse.


source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Stove#ixzz4ZdQ3kWw4

Haha I can relate to many of them

 

[kennyp2339]

I was at my doctors office when the doctor asked me how my season was, I said it was dry, my shoulder was short as it got to cold to quick, he looked at me and said "I thought you were here for knee pain." I said "I am, I thought you were talking about wood burning."