We got a call today to go look at a pellet stove which didnt seem to be burning properly as per the homeowner. So, we go to the home. The glass is SO dirty, we cant tell if theres a fire in there or not. Books stacked everywhere around the house, within 6" of stove, etc. The homes inhabited by an 86 year old gent and his wife. They also curiously have one of those voice-activated lifesize grinches dressed in a Santa suit, which when it senses a noise or music dances, but, being the grinch, it seems to us to be dancing obscenely with hip thrusts and all, leering at you all the while. Anyways, back to the subject....we put the trusty ole draft meter on the stove, and sure enough, needle barely moves. The stove is filthy, so the tech tells the old guy he'll clean the stove, but when was the last time the chimney was cleaned...neither can recall. But the wee old wifey pipes up that the guy across the street is a chimney sweep, should call him. Grizzled old guy, 86, a Navy lifer, says Hell, NO!, I'll get up there and do it, and off he goes. Well, the tech resumes work cleaning the stove. A few minutes later, he hears a god-awful sound....all kindsa debris falling down inside the chimney....figures it soundded like a skunk, a few squirrels, maybe a goose for good measure, as well as their associated nests. A few minutes later, the old gent comes back in. "Didja clean the chimney, sir?"...."yep, sure did"....."what was that awful noise?"....."oh....that was the brick I dropped down to clean the chimney"..."well, how are you gonna get the brick out"...."oh, dont worry, i tied a rope to it so i can do it again next year....."........all the while, every time someone says something, the grinch in the corner thrusts his hips obscenely and leers......
