Hilarious CL resume...looking for workers?

[smwilliamson]

Ok listen I am not a tech that just goes to any company I have been with 3 company's
And still with one today after 11 years I am a manger level tech that helps lower level techs and there for anyone that needs my help I have been doing HVAC for over 20 years and have more license then anyone I know ! So don t contact me if you are a small company and not going anywhere I am looking for a big company that is growing and needs me on there team and somewhere I can grow more then I am already with them! You want my resume you can email me i will send it don't call anyone until you call me first like I said I don't want a small company that is not going anywhere and just looking to get by cause there are busy and that can't afford me I am looking for a range of 80,000 to 90,000 I am sorry if you are shocked by that number but that is what it is like I said I have more lisences and cerified in many things and I decatied my life to this filed !!. Thanks please don't wast my time our yours there has to be somthing great for me to even think about going anywhere !

good luck buddy! Learn to spell and drop the attitude.

 

[Adios Pantalones]

What a DBag. On top of the attitude, if you can't make the effort to clean up spelling/grammar when looking for a job- it doesn't look like you'd take the care to do a job right. (or is it a joke that I'm not getting?)

 

[Ashful]

I decatied my life to this filed.

 

[Jags]

Sounds like the kind of guy that I would like to hire.

 

[Delta-T]

I have also disicated my life to technishery....but I am willing to accept $78K...PM me for a link, to a map, that leads you to the secret location of my resume...done in crayon, on McDonalds cheeseburger wrapper.

 

[Adios Pantalones]

You just know that he's sitting at home, not getting responses, saying "I'm too much fer thems. They can't handles the troof"

 

[PapaDave]

Fail.

 

[fossil]

I think I got that guy on the line last time I called Sony.

 

[Defiant]

Thanks please don't wast my time our yours there has to be somthing great for me to even think about going anywhere !

How about school????

 

[Backwoods Savage]

Classic.

I well remember some of the resumes I've received in the past. It is amazing how many go straight to the circular file.


EDIT: I just sent a copy of this guy's resume to my son. I wonder if he'll hire the guy?

 

[PapaDave]

I am a manger level tech

This concerns me.

 

[Ashful]

smwilliamson said: I am a manger level tech

This concerns me.

The Dilbert Principle at work?

I wrote The Dilbert Principle around the concept that in many cases the least competent, least smart people are promoted, simply because they’re the ones you don't want doing actual work. You want them ordering the doughnuts and yelling at people for not doing their assignments—you know, the easy work. Your heart surgeons and your computer programmers—your smart people—aren’t in management.

 

[PapaDave]

aren’t in mangement

There, fixed it.

 

[Hills Hoard]

scary, but i have met a number of people with this attitude. Amazes me how they keep a straight face when they feed you this BS. You know how there is that diagram for fires saying you need oxygen, heat and fuel? Well there is one for a good employee too. Its Attitude, ability and attendance. If you cover all 3 of these you are laughing. This guy may have ability and attendance, but his attitude stinks

 

[bmblank]

Where i worked until just recently our manager level it guy embezzled ALOT of money. In fact, that cl ad almost sounds like him... Hmmm...

 

[basod]

I think the funniest resume I ever received started as follows:

"Cents 1986 have been working in the welding field...."

Submitted by one of my coworkers for his buddy - I asked said coworker to look it over again... he replied that there was nothing wrong with it

 

[Delta-T]

forgot to add....Sirius inqui people ONLY! Dont waist my time. Call me.

 

[BrotherBart]

I hear he went to work for Booz Allen in Hawaii last Thursday.

 

[Jags]

Sounds like he may have been over qualified.

 

[WES999]

When the phone don't ring, you will know it's me.

 

[Delta-T]

he does have more lisense than anyone he knows.....that pretty impressive.

 

[begreen]

His typing degraded as the resume progressed, probably in direct correlation to the Jack Daniels consumed.

 

[firebroad]

I get the feeling one of the following is true:

1) This is a gag.
2) He/She is collecting unemployment, and one of the requirements is that he/she seek employment. This might be the only effort he/she has put forward.
3) He/She is a former Civil Servant.

 

[blades]

1 & 3 need reversal judging by the various civil employees(?) I have had to deal with lately.

 

[BrotherBart]

Looks like most of the posters on the HVAC forum I used to drop in on sometimes a few years ago. What a war zone. And if a poor Harry Homeowner asked a DIY question he would be immediately folded, spindled and mutilated.