Does this happen to anyone else?

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redmanlcs

Burning Hunk
Nov 20, 2017
165
West Virginia
I cut firewood as often as possible from early spring to late fall, trying to get ahead a few years. I have a few family members that burn wood for heat, but not 100% like me, as I have no other way to heat my home. One person bought a couple cords of prime firewood, had it delivered and stacked 100 yards away from their house. He said it would be fine. I think he might have burned 1/4 of what he bought, the rest will lay and rot due to the fact that he is too lazy to pack it the 100 yards to the house, and is too lazy to keep a fire much less build one. All summer I argued with him about his fireplace, how it would suck up most of the heat he gets from the fire. The fireplace's heat output surprised me, but still he wasted money and wood saying he is gonna burn wood this year, but fell way short. End of Family member No. 1.------ On to family member No.2 (which is why I posted in the first place) Again I cut firewood every chance I get. Multiple times I asked No.2 If he needed help getting some firewood, or if he helps me get a load, I would help him get a load. His reply was that he was going to buy a gas fireplace and use gas. "Ok", I said, fair enough. Later on he asked me if it would be cheaper to buy gas for a generator, and use that to power his heat pump. I said, "No! Don't think it would be cheaper at all".. Multiple times I asked if he needed help, and multiple times I got the -"im going to use gas" as a reply..... I struggled last year to get what I needed, not sure If it was enough to do me all winter, and im still running way behind, my stack is looking pretty slim right now, but anyways----------- It got cold and stayed cold for about a month here on the east coast. Anyone guess what happens soon as the forecaster called for snow and cold weather? Kudos if you said- "No. 2 came and asked if you could give him some firewood"..... yup,, he came for a visit, and while he was here, asked, "Man, its gonna get cold, my heatpump don't work, could you spare some wood so I can stay warm?" Generous as I am, I gave him a small truckload of wood, but told him I might not have much to spare, and If I was him, I would saw up some wood that I left at our cutting location.. which should have been starting to season, but he insisted on cutting down a beech and a hard maple and he was trying to burn that last time I visited him....Man, I hate when I work all year to get my wood, offer to help someone gather theirs, they decline, then want to bum me out of what I worked to get.. He even had the gall to ask me If id him cut a beech n maple, which I wouldn't care to help him, but he wanted to cut them when it was zero degrees outside. I don't cut when its that cold for myself, much less someone else... Anyone have firewood bums?
 
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Nope...no firewood bums as I work to hard to gather my BTUs...I am not responsible for keeping a "adults" backside warm...unless they live under a rock they know what makes the world go around.They also know its hard work...man up and get your own wood! I did help a woman out who was to proud to ask for help when her central heat went out after her husband had passed...they had a old stove that I put back into operation for her. To this day she burns and has never asked for free anything...
 
Over my dead body. Both cases sound a lot more like being lazy and a fool.
 
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I cut firewood as often as possible from early spring to late fall, trying to get ahead a few years. I have a few family members that burn wood for heat, but not 100% like me, as I have no other way to heat my home. One person bought a couple cords of prime firewood, had it delivered and stacked 100 yards away from their house. He said it would be fine. I think he might have burned 1/4 of what he bought, the rest will lay and rot due to the fact that he is too lazy to pack it the 100 yards to the house, and is too lazy to keep a fire much less build one. All summer I argued with him about his fireplace, how it would suck up most of the heat he gets from the fire. The fireplace's heat output surprised me, but still he wasted money and wood saying he is gonna burn wood this year, but fell way short. End of Family member No. 1.------ On to family member No.2 (which is why I posted in the first place) Again I cut firewood every chance I get. Multiple times I asked No.2 If he needed help getting some firewood, or if he helps me get a load, I would help him get a load. His reply was that he was going to buy a gas fireplace and use gas. "Ok", I said, fair enough. Later on he asked me if it would be cheaper to buy gas for a generator, and use that to power his heat pump. I said, "No! Don't think it would be cheaper at all".. Multiple times I asked if he needed help, and multiple times I got the -"im going to use gas" as a reply..... I struggled last year to get what I needed, not sure If it was enough to do me all winter, and im still running way behind, my stack is looking pretty slim right now, but anyways----------- It got cold and stayed cold for about a month here on the east coast. Anyone guess what happens soon as the forecaster called for snow and cold weather? Kudos if you said- "No. 2 came and asked if you could give him some firewood"..... yup,, he came for a visit, and while he was here, asked, "Man, its gonna get cold, my heatpump don't work, could you spare some wood so I can stay warm?" Generous as I am, I gave him a small truckload of wood, but told him I might not have much to spare, and If I was him, I would saw up some wood that I left at our cutting location.. which should have been starting to season, but he insisted on cutting down a beech and a hard maple and he was trying to burn that last time I visited him....Man, I hate when I work all year to get my wood, offer to help someone gather theirs, they decline, then want to bum me out of what I worked to get.. He even had the gall to ask me If id him cut a beech n maple, which I wouldn't care to help him, but he wanted to cut them when it was zero degrees outside. I don't cut when its that cold for myself, much less someone else... Anyone have firewood bums?
"Sorry, even though it looks like I have a lot of wood stockpiled, we'll need all of it to keep us warm, and because I don't have any help cutting, splitting, stacking, and hauling it, we will barely have enough. Any chance you have some spare oil/gas that you could share to take some of the pressure off us, so we don't run out of wood?"
 
I helped a buddy last year who got hit with hard times and couldn't afford oil. He had never fired his wood stove, but we got her running and I took care of him with enough wood to get by. Difference being he offered to help me gather wood, and did so on a few trips. He also did me a huge favor keeping the pipes from freezing by loading the boiler, caring for our dog, and blowing out my property of snow while we were in the hospital delivering kid #2.

He is a good man who just fell on hard times. One hand washes the other. In your case, sadly it seems like only one hand is doing the washing.
 
sadly it seems like only one hand is doing the washing.
Lost many friends because of that. I was turned into a the "favor" guy by a few people over the years, funny thing is I usually go until I had enough then don't even bother answering the phone anymore, completely write the people off.
 
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Had a neighbor with a strong giant of a teenager. Helped them get wood together two years,had a blast teaching him stuff. Then he decided to get lazy. My kids were half his size, working their asses off. After a lot of drama, ( I really wanted to help him grow up), I had to tell mom I couldn't help if he wouldn't, kinda destroyed our friendship. My boys learned a lot though, so I have no regrets.
 
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Other people usually get an explanation that my stove won't burn well unless my oak sits three years and my house fills with smoke if I burn anything newer. (Marginal draft, it's a catalyst, yadda yadda..) This explains why I can't part with any of the 10 cords or so I usually have to start a burn season. Hey, there's a kernel of truth in there.;)
 
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"Sorry, even though it looks like I have a lot of wood stockpiled, we'll need all of it to keep us warm, and because I don't have any help cutting, splitting, stacking, and hauling it, we will barely have enough. Any chance you have some spare oil/gas that you could share to take some of the pressure off us, so we don't run out of wood?"


Wow! Exaclty what I was looking for! ... ED you are so great!... that is exactly what I will say. I do have a hard time saying no sometimes, but sometimes you just can't be taken advantage of, as I'm getting up older in age... me and my wife, she helps.. and I have a 9 yr old.. that likes to roll rounds down the hill to the flat where we load... and I have a 2yr old Pit Bull that loves to chase those rounds down the hill which gives us entertainment during breaks for water/rest.... My problem is my only method of hauling wood consists of an atv and small trailer...I think if I could find a good old 4x4 and use it as a wood buggy, it would increase my efficiency,, thats my biggest problem, then wood bums. Thanks again ED
 
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I have a son in law & daughter that showed up for the weekend & he tells me that his sister & brother in law burn wood. I said I know they do, then he tells me that if I load some up in his pickup he’ll take it over to them on his way home. :eek:That’s when walked out to go continue to build my stockpile. I may not have been as offended if he would of actually offered to help load it. :mad: I think my wife thought I was going to blow my top. There was never once an offer to help over 2 days & I’m really glad, not sure how he would of faired in 10 degree weather with his spring jacket & Chuck Taylors, not to mention he may of gotten a blister or splinter. Lazy people just don’t get it.
 
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I expect the OPs post was mostly a rant to get it out of his system and I hope it helps. It sure sounds like there are some fundamental family dynamics going on that go far beyond firewood. You can chose your friends but you cant chose your relatives. I can speculate that these are in laws and probably some innocent kids involved so its not so easy to cut them off.

"give me strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the
difference" or less politely "you cant fix stupid"

I have heard worse, where the lazy husband (brother in law) sends his wife to go beg for wood as the brother in law is "too proud" to ask.

If there are any kids involved and old enough to help you have a chance of maybe influencing them by inviting them to help. but I expect the brother in law is a lost cause.
 
I cut firewood as often as possible from early spring to late fall, trying to get ahead a few years. I have a few family members that burn wood for heat, but not 100% like me, as I have no other way to heat my home. One person bought a couple cords of prime firewood, had it delivered and stacked 100 yards away from their house. He said it would be fine. I think he might have burned 1/4 of what he bought, the rest will lay and rot due to the fact that he is too lazy to pack it the 100 yards to the house, and is too lazy to keep a fire much less build one. All summer I argued with him about his fireplace, how it would suck up most of the heat he gets from the fire. The fireplace's heat output surprised me, but still he wasted money and wood saying he is gonna burn wood this year, but fell way short. End of Family member No. 1.------ On to family member No.2 (which is why I posted in the first place) Again I cut firewood every chance I get. Multiple times I asked No.2 If he needed help getting some firewood, or if he helps me get a load, I would help him get a load. His reply was that he was going to buy a gas fireplace and use gas. "Ok", I said, fair enough. Later on he asked me if it would be cheaper to buy gas for a generator, and use that to power his heat pump. I said, "No! Don't think it would be cheaper at all".. Multiple times I asked if he needed help, and multiple times I got the -"im going to use gas" as a reply..... I struggled last year to get what I needed, not sure If it was enough to do me all winter, and im still running way behind, my stack is looking pretty slim right now, but anyways----------- It got cold and stayed cold for about a month here on the east coast. Anyone guess what happens soon as the forecaster called for snow and cold weather? Kudos if you said- "No. 2 came and asked if you could give him some firewood"..... yup,, he came for a visit, and while he was here, asked, "Man, its gonna get cold, my heatpump don't work, could you spare some wood so I can stay warm?" Generous as I am, I gave him a small truckload of wood, but told him I might not have much to spare, and If I was him, I would saw up some wood that I left at our cutting location.. which should have been starting to season, but he insisted on cutting down a beech and a hard maple and he was trying to burn that last time I visited him....Man, I hate when I work all year to get my wood, offer to help someone gather theirs, they decline, then want to bum me out of what I worked to get.. He even had the gall to ask me If id him cut a beech n maple, which I wouldn't care to help him, but he wanted to cut them when it was zero degrees outside. I don't cut when its that cold for myself, much less someone else... Anyone have firewood bums?
Sounds like Aesopes fable of the ant and the grasshopper...
 
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I give some (very little) firewood to anyone but, I do let my friends know that I have to open a window during the winter to Coll Off our home.
 
Sounds like Aesopes fable of the ant and the grasshopper...
I was thinking the same thing. I had a “friend”ask me for some wood 2 years ago, and when I mentioned it to the wife she was not happy. She said I spend all that time away from spending time with the family, tuff crap for them. He was perfectly capable also, just didn’t heed my advice to c/s/s early and smaller so he was prepared for the season. End result- no wood was shared as per Momma bear but he was better prepared the next year
 
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I was thinking the same thing. I had a “friend”ask me for some wood 2 years ago, and when I mentioned it to the wife she was not happy. She said I spend all that time away from spending time with the family, tuff crap for them. He was perfectly capable also, just didn’t heed my advice to c/s/s early and smaller so he was prepared for the season. End result- no wood was shared as per Momma bear but he was better prepared the next year
Some of lifes lessons are hard...but thats how they learn...from reality.
 
My friend Joe: We would often team up to work on wood together since he also burned wood at the time. The deal was one load for him, one load for me. Worked out pretty well.

My friend Chris: Offered to let me cut a whole bunch of beech on his property. He never specifically asked, but I ended up doing a 50-50 split since I figured he could use the wood for his camp and maple sugaring operation and I truly appreciated the wood.

My friend Aaron: Has helped out on more than one occasion and has offered trees from his own property . . . every once in a while he will ask if I have some wood he can use for camping or smoking meat (and oftentimes he'll even give me some of the meat).

If any of these guys asked I would give them some wood since in my mind they're good for it.

The only time I offered wood -- unsolicited -- was when a neighbor moved in during the Fall and since he was Amish I knew he would need some firewood for heat and cooking to get him through the Winter. However, he politely thanked me and declined.
 
I'll help anyone in need...once. After that, if I see that they are in need because they are lazy, then they NEED to get off their ass and work for it like everyone else.
I'll never turn down anyone that needs help dropping or splitting (not that it happens much in my 'hood'). That's just being a good neighbor.
 
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I'll help anyone in need...once. After that, if I see that they are in need because they are lazy, then they NEED to get off their ass and work for it like everyone else.
I'll never turn down anyone that needs help dropping or splitting (not that it happens much in my 'hood'). That's just being a good neighbor.
In need is one thing. Being a lazy sluggard is another.
 
Sounds like a tough situation since family is involved. You could always offer to sell them some of your hard earned firewood for the time being.

If they want to earn the money back they can gather and split some firewood for you in the spring. This way if they never get around to replenishing your wood you at least have some money in your pocket.
 
Sounds like a tough situation since family is involved. You could always offer to sell them some of your hard earned firewood for the time being.

If they want to earn the money back they can gather and split some firewood for you in the spring. This way if they never get around to replenishing your wood you at least have some money in your pocket.

Boy I expect that woudl go well with typical family dynamics ;)
 
they not gonna buy anything, thats whole problem.. i mean, yea, bumming light bulbs, food, gas, tools, etc. etc... but I asked them all spring/summer/fall if they needed help getting some wood.. ---nope gonna use propane.... then soon as it gets cold..... um can you spare some wood?... which I did...see how it goes this year.. lol
 
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they not gonna buy anything, thats whole problem.. i mean, yea, bumming light bulbs, food, gas, tools, etc. etc... but I asked them all spring/summer/fall if they needed help getting some wood.. ---nope gonna use propane.... then soon as it gets cold..... um can you spare some wood?... which I did...see how it goes this year.. lol
You could always tell him, “Sorry, actually no, I can’t spare any. That’s why I asked you over and over again throughout the year if you would need any. And when you kept telling me no, you were going to use propane I only collected enough for me and my family. And I’m not sure I even have enough for them.”

Yeah. I know. Then you will be the bad guy. Sigh.
 
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